How to Get to the Learning Faster, Finding Value in Feedback

Updated: Aug 6, 2020

Key Assumptions

Personal and organizational learning require each of us to improve our ability to receive (and give) feedback well
Giving and receiving feedback is a skill and it takes thought and practice to hone the skill
Feedback is formal and inform, verbal and non-verbal, and can come from anyone – family, friends, bosses, subordinates, peers, vendors, clients, and customers, even experiences
Being good at receiving feedback allows us to get better and improve our relationships
Studies show that feedback leads to higher morale and better performance
Leaders who receive feedback well provide an invaluable model for their direct-reports and teammates
One of the best ways to improve our ability to give feedback well is by improving our understanding of what it takes to receive feedback well
A challenge with feedback is the tension we experience between wanting to learn and wanting to be accepted just as you are

Feedback Definition (Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, 2014)

Any information you get about yourself
It’s how we learn about ourselves from our experiences and people
How we learn from life
Goes beyond our performance that gets ranked and extends to what gets thanked, welcomed back, talked about, and dropped

Three Types of Feedback

Focusing on the Receiver’s Triggers

Truth – the right or wrong of the feedback; focuses on the substance of the feedback
Relationship – who is the person giving the feedback; what is the person’s credibility; we have reactions to the feedback based on what we believe about the person giving the feedback
Identity – is all about me the receiver; the feedback causes us to be unsure, what to think about ourselves, and question what we stand for

Overcoming Receiver Triggers

Truth – the right or wrong of the feedback; focuses on the substance of the feedback o Seek to understand the feedback – what did you observe and what was the impact o Feedback has a past and a future - Past – where is it coming from - Future - what does the giver expect by giving the feedback o As we sort through what is right and what is wrong with the feedback, use the pieces that are good to help you determine what feedback to take and grow; o Remember we always have the option not to learn from the feedback and set boundaries to protect our self-worth
Relationship – who is the person giving the feedback and what is their credibility o Separate the what from the person giving the feedback – don’t switch topics and put the feedback on the giver, take one topic at a time o Step back and see the relationship patterns – what can you do to break the pattern
Identity – is all about me the receiver; the feedback causes us to be unsure, what to think about ourselves, and question what we stand for o See identity as growth identify vs. fixed identity o Learn how our wiring (how we react to positive and negative feedback) affects how we receive feedback; our reactions shape our sense of self and future o See feedback as its actual size rather than take it out of proportion; work to regain balanced thinking o Cultivate an identity of growth

Comments